King of Derps



The King of Derps, who demands to be called Paorou, is one of the core members of the Knights of the Round.

He is a person with countless contributions to the history of Sauhpeesee, the Sauh People. He has always been at the forefront of major decisions, and considered as the elder advisor of the "leaderless" peers of knights. (in the absence of the King of Spades) He has fought in many battles, although often from the strategist's table, abusing and noting enemy weaknesses.

He is known as a potent Mirrorsage, and appointed as the Wikiscribe. He collects, writes and transcribes texts of great import, such as The Knightly Epics. He is also the man who founded and formalized the Sauh Questing Method. As a diviner he is called Astrolologer, and many come to him for advice. He is rumored to be the Diviner King stated in the Crusader Vow's Prophecy.

History
Paorou is a criminal running from his past. Or so he says. He doesn't really tell much of his past, except that he used to come from the land of LUSS SUHR. Apprently, he had failed the kingdom horribly while in service of the armed forces and ran away. He worked as a mercenary for two different lieges, but quit those too because it was hassling. Renown as a Questor and Mirrorsage, a wizard who seeks enlightenment, he found his way to Ayepeessee.

He was once a lone rider (on a red motorbike no less) who only came into Ayepeessee in recent years. However, despite that, he has been called many names and has achieved a bit during his stay here. For instance, Paorou has foolishly made a snide remark regarding the PAPS JOOLS within a few days of entering (and has survived), has been kicked by the Queen of Spades (and survived), has had sparring matches with the King of Spades (and survived), and has aroused the anger of the True Owner multiple times. (Yet still has survived.)

Paorou is also responsible for the usage of 'Derp' and 'kisama' in common speak amongst the Knights and the denizens of Sauh.

Powers
Paorou has shown abilities and powers that have made him infamous.

Pain Tolerance
Paorou possesses an extremely high tolerance to pain - in an almost comical way. (He acts out his getting hurt) He prides himself in constantly getting into accidents and having misfortunes happen to him. As such, he is commonly portrayed as a glutton for punishment.

The Red Wardrobe
His battle uniform only has one thing in common - it consists of red colored upper garments. Jackets, shirts, gloves... When he wears red, it is a statement of his presence and his status. It is also said that each Red Jacket in the 'Red Wardrobe' is enchanted with various spells to aid him in battle.

Motorbike Riding
He owns a trusty motorbike Crimson 'Jin'. It's proper, full name is the 'Earth trampling motorized two-wheeled vehicle of Everlasting White and Crimson' - which is what his NOBOL PANTASMO is promptly titled. Despite fancy names and titles, it does nothing different from any other dirt-bike. It is however, supposedly resistent to flood waters when compared to other vehicles. Ironically, this was how Paorou's bike was destroyed, and why he was defeated in the WHORE'S GUILD WAR of Peyt/Istey Nite.

The Black Helmet of the Unsanitary War God
This is a legendary black helmet only the bravest can wear, as it's great stench can drive a man insane from wearing it. This is why there are talks for it be used as a torture and interrogation device. Paorou doesn't seem to mind the smell, however, and has been wearing it for the longest time. The helmet is one of the strongest pieces of armor ever known in Ayepeessee. It is heavily cracked and scratched, showing just how durable it is, and how many conflicts it has seen.

Derp Mastery of Basagan
The man is a self-appointed master of Basag. He created the Derp Style, and has dipped into both Shocker and Homo Styles. He is incredibly adept at Shocker and Derp, but uses Homo style on specific opponents - and only has one key move in the style. The Derp Style has propagated due to his use of it in tandem with the shocker style methodology. It is actually commonly used among his peers as of today. His knowledge of Basagan may come from his checkered past on The Internets.

Fractal Quantum Perspective 'Glimpse'
An advanced form of Character Evocation, in which Paorou 'refines' alternative realities into the world of Ayepeesee. However, it is a very long and tedious process, which is why it is not defined as such. Instead it is called his ability to 'Campaign', or to hold a 'Game'. It is via this style he was able to effectively spread and formalize the Sauh Questing Method.

Divination
In later years, the King of Derps became increasingly interested in divination methods, especially the workings of fate. He calls himself an 'Astrolologer', and is rumored to be the 'Diviner King' of the Crusader Vow's Prophecy.

Mirrorsage Artifacts
He once possessed a handheld console of the PSP variety. It was destroyed when it was utterly crushed by a powerful mirror capture artifact known as a Dussler.

He now possesses a general-use portable mirror made of red crystal, in a pattern created by the wizard 'Neo'. He uses it for various things, but mostly to stash away deviant images and reflections. It is capable of many common cantrips, but lacks the raw magical processing power to utilize higher level spells most portable mirrors possess.

However, his mastery as a Mirrorsage allows him to use most mirrors to a competent degree.

In Peyt/ Istey Nite
Paorou was summoned via a time paradox during the events of Peyt/Istey Nite - into the Rider Class. His master is Ana, who summoned him unwittingly by returning his art book. She doesn't really care much about the Whore's Guild War because the name is so distasteful.

His powers involve him using Tokusatsu moves, and his motorbike, which had become an UNO-class NOBOL PANTASMO. In this storyline, it is revealed that he has a QUATRO-Class Nobol PANTASMO called 'Unlimited Derp Works' - gained from calling almost everything he's ever seen in life a 'Derp'. This is the same maneuver he uses to crash the planet earth on Jules-zerker's face. However, such is the ugliness of the creature that an alternate universe DERP EARTH was instantly destroyed with mere sight. While escaping, Paorou is finally removed from the Whore's Guild War by driving his NOBOL PANTASMO into the great flood waters in front of SM SUCAT.

As Paorou fades from existence due to flood water filling his magic circuits, he curses Marlon and blames him for everything. (As he was a devout Marlonist in life.)

At the end of Peyt/Istey Nite Paorou is revived back into the timeline because Marlon said it would be hassling to try and fix a time paradox. This coincides with Marlon deciding that no one won the Whore's Guild War out of annoyance.